Have you ever had something occur in your life that you know was intended, that there was a purpose for where you were at the exact time of an occurrence that makes no sense, except that you know you were supposed to be there?
I hate those. Especially when it is an upsetting situation.
I just had one of them. And I find myself stuck. I want desperately to know why I was there at that time, why I had to witness that. Part of me is angry about it. Furiously demanding to know why I had to face that. Another part of me does not want to know anything about it.
I find myself avoiding praying to God about myself and the state I am in because I am so unsure.
Have you ever been there before?
I know the event you are referring to and I don't want to detract from that.
ReplyDeleteBut the -state- you are talking about. That's me every single day of my life. Not being able to pray because you don't know? Accepting the necessity of experience (both good and bad) but not understanding it and not knowing what to ask or do or feel? Not being able to get an answer to any question starting with why?
*hugs* You're not going to find the answer for this one, sis. The best you can do is deal with the situation and the effects it has, make some kind of peace with it (in time. In LOTS of time) and trust that God will lead you through every inexplicable situation you will find yourself in. Yesterday, today, tomorrow